Comfort: A Place Where Dreams Go To Die

Did you know that there is a significantly higher proportion of suicides in lottery winners as there are in the normal population? Why do you think that is? I guess the first 6 months or a year would be amazing. But what about after that? What about when the novelty wears off (I know, hard to imagine). What about a year after you quit your job and your colleagues stop calling you? Or when you start to feel irrelevant in society now and un-needed? I think that sounds like a pretty lonely place to be in truth. Of course, only after the novelty has worn off.

I often ask people, “What do you want from these sessions?”. And you can imagine – the answer is always the same: “I just want to feel happy again”. I think this is a mistake. I don’t think it’s realistic, reasonable or even very useful. Why? We are not designed to stagnate and wait for death in a state of perpetual glee. I mean, what would that even look like? We are wired for survival and social interaction. We have a role and we need to fill it. Without this, our lives will feel meaningless and full of emptiness. Why do we see a significantly higher proportion of lottery winners committing suicide? The answer is clear – they had no purpose anymore.

So, do not be fooled into thinking your life would be better if you didn’t have to work. Do not think for a second your happiness depends on material gains (minus the obvious – roof over head, etc.). And do not think remaining comfortable will lead you to happiness.

Life is a struggle. Pretty much for the moment you are born to the moment you die; a large portion of your waking life will be involved with the identifying and procurement of goals. This can be educational, romantic, money-oriented or survival-based. The tuth is your purpose is to survive, and it makes sense you should be focusing on whatever it is that will improve your, or your offsprings’, chances of this.

This may not sound as glamourous or appealing as millions of pounds in the bank and cocktails on the beach, but it is the truth. And what’s more – this is not such a bad truth either. We get to wake up with purpose if this is the case for you. you get to wake up with point. You get to go to bed knowing you are needed and a valuable member of your family and of your community. You get to have an impact.

“ We are wired for survival and social interaction. We have a role and we need to fill it. Without this, our lives will feel meaningless and full of emptiness.”

So, what are the lessons here? It’s not that you should not have comfort in life. We all need to rest! Best rest should come as your reward to a day well spent. Rest is earned, it is not your default. You should work hard on something that is meaningful to you; happiness will find you on the way. Your goal is not happiness, but rather fulfilment. Any you receive is a bonus.

When we are fulfilled we are motivated. When we are motivated we can set our mind to great things. We are energised by our ideals and confidence exudes. Our happiness will fall into place from there.

So, to conclude. Comfort feels good, but it is a fickle friend. To be enjoyed sparingly after a long day over a cool glass of wine. Too much comfort can make us lazy and laziness breeds contempt. Both to ourselves and, if we’re not careful, from others. And this is really not where you want to be for a happy and fulfilled life.

So, next time the Monday blues have got you down, just smile. this means you are doing something great with your time; you are striving.

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