Low self-esteem often stems from early experiences or ongoing stress that subtly influence how a person views their self-worth. Over time, these moments can shape a person’s self-confidence and cause them to doubt their abilities in ways they may not be aware of. These patterns don’t always manifest dramatically; they often manifest in small, everyday behaviours. The examples below demonstrate how low self-esteem can manifest in real life and help readers recognise low self esteem signs in themselves and others.
1. Saying “Yes” When You Want to Say “No”
This happens when someone agrees to things they don’t actually want to do. They may say yes because they’re worried about upsetting others or being seen as unkind. Even when they’re tired or busy, they still go along with the request.
2. Constantly Apologising
Some people say “sorry” far more than a situation requires, even when they have done nothing wrong. They may apologise for asking a question, taking a moment of someone’s time, or simply being unsure about something. This habit often comes from feeling like a burden, and it can slowly lower their confidence in everyday interactions.
3. Struggling to Accept Compliments
This shows up when someone feels uncomfortable or unsure when others say something kind about them. They might brush off the compliment, change the subject, or insist that they did not do anything special. This usually happens because they do not see the same strengths in themselves and find it difficult to believe positive feedback.
4. Staying in Unhealthy Relationships
Some people remain in relationships that do not support their wellbeing, even when they feel hurt or overlooked. They may believe this is the best they can get or worry that leaving will make things worse. When someone doubts their own value, it becomes harder to set boundaries or choose relationships that feel safe and respectful.
5. Avoiding Eye Contact
Many people look away during conversations because eye contact feels intense or exposing. They may worry that others can see their nerves or judge them if they hold eye contact for too long. This can make social interactions feel uncomfortable and can lead to misunderstandings, even though the person simply feels unsure of themselves.
6. Overpreparing for Simple Tasks
Some people spend a lot of time double-checking emails, messages, or small tasks because they worry about making a mistake. Even when the task is straightforward, they may feel the need to perfect every detail to avoid criticism or embarrassment. This can turn everyday routines into stressful moments and make them doubt their own abilities, even when they are doing just fine.
7. Feeling Responsible for Other People’s Emotions
Some people take on the burden of other people’s feelings, believing it’s their job to keep everyone calm and happy. When someone is upset, they may assume they’re the cause or that they must immediately fix it. This creates constant stress and can lead to feelings of guilt, even in situations in which they’re not responsible.
8. Avoiding Conflict at Any Cost
Some people shy away from disagreements, even small ones, because they fear upsetting others or being judged. They may stay quiet, agree quickly, or hide their true feelings to keep the peace. Over time, this can lead to built-up frustration and a sense that their needs never matter in conversations or relationships.
How to Heal Low Self-Esteem?
CBT helps people heal low self-esteem by teaching them to understand and challenge the unhelpful thoughts that shape how they see themselves. It guides them to replace harsh self-criticism with more balanced, realistic thinking while building confidence through small, achievable steps in daily life. CBT also gently reduces avoidance behaviours, such as staying quiet or avoiding new situations, by helping people face these moments at a pace that feels safe. Along the way, it strengthens self-compassion and encourages a kinder inner voice. These skills support long-term change and help individuals develop a healthier, more confident sense of self.
I’m Tom Holland, an experienced and certified CBT therapist with over a decade of experience helping people improve their self esteem. Since 2010, I’ve supported many individuals in building healthier, more positive views of themselves. In our sessions (online or offline), you’ll find a friendly, approachable, and non-judgmental space where you can talk openly and feel supported.
Click the button below to book your session and start your journey toward feeling better. Let’s talk and take that first step together.